My Weekend in Paris

I was so happy to be back, even though the city felt both strange and familiar to me...

The number one thing I noticed, which I did not and will never miss is French inefficiency. I went back this weekend mainly to see friends, but also to do one or two administrative things. Can anyone guess how many I managed to get done? Zero, yep you heard me right, zero, zéro, null, odo rabata...!!! It was such a waste of time, energy, effort and emotions!

See before I moved to Brussels, I went to my French bank TWICE to tell them about the move, and to change my details as well as my assigned branch/agency. So imagine my surprise when I arrived in Paris on Saturday morning and rushed straight to the bank only to be told I couldn't close my account because it was still being held at the other branch! I mean, knowing that French banks only open between 11-1 on Saturdays, and not at all on Mondays, I had planned my journey (leaving my house at 6am!) to get there in time. Of course by the time the good lady took her time to "check" things thoroughly and finally got round to telling me this, it was already 12.15, too late to get to the other branch before they closed. I was furious, and I swear I just wanted to break down and cry! Still, I remembered that shouting in situations like this (in Paris at least), never changes anything, so I respected myself and jejely left without killing anyone. Luckily I am scheduled to go back in March for my sister's graduation. Hopefully, I'll be able to sort stuff out then.

The second thing I wanted to do was to get a "certificate of work" from my previous job. The thing is, when one moves within the EU, one needs this certificate to be able to register with the social security system in the new country. Without this registration, access to services is impossible and one is obliged to pay out of pocket each time you need/use anything e.g. medical care. This can become very expensive, very quickly, and as I am currently not covered, I basically spend my days praying not to fall seriously ill. I have written the French, but they keep saying they've sent it (to all the wrong addresses!), so I'll again have to physically go there to try and sort things out. Another couple of things added to my already long list of things to do when I go back in March. God help me!

Now, on to the much longer list of things I really enjoyed and  now desperately miss: MY FRIENDS, the beauty of Paris, the ambiance, the food, the beautifully presented delicious desserts, that feeling of being chez moi, sitting on/meeting friends on the steps of Opéra Garnier, lunch by myself at my favourite restaurant, free water in restaurants, good Nigerian food...!!!

Yummy frozen yoghurt

I took this dessert along, to dinner with friends

 

 Some pounded yam with real efo riro and egusi, and some palm juice

I honestly can't wait to go back in about 4weeks.

Mein Erster Post auf Deutsch/First Post in German!

Heute mache ich ein "post" auf Deutsch wie ich am Montag versprochen habe. Ich bin eigentlich in der Arbeit, in ein sehr langweilig Treffen, also ich entschied mich das zu schreiben...

Am Samstag gehe ich nach Paris meine freundinnen zu besuchen, weil seit November habe ich nicht ihnen gesehen. Ich werde schmackhaft Japanisch Essen essen, um mein lieblingstadt herumgehen, und gerade einen schönen Wochenende haben! Die nur schlecht ding ist dass ich mit dem Bus muss fahren. Wie üblich, habe ich nicht meine Zug-Ticket gekauft früh, also es zu teuer war...sowieso, jetzt ich den Bus muss nehmen. Auch unglücklicherweise, wird es das ganze Wochenende regen :(
Sonst, ich freue mich sehr gern!

Today I'm doing a post in German as I promised on Monday. I'm actually at work, in a very boring meeting, so I decided to write this...

On Saturday I am going to Paris to visit my friends, because since November, I have not seen them. I'll eat delicious Japanese food, walk around my favourite city, and just have a nice weekend! The only bad thing is that I have to take the bus. As usual, I did not buy my train ticket early, so it was too expensive...anyway now I have to take the bus. Also, unfortunately, it will rain all weekend :(
Apart from that, I am very happy!

October Happenings

So on the 8th of October I resigned my job here in Paris. This is the story of what happened....

 Source

Our lease had expired at the end of July, and we weren't planning to renew it because as I mentioned in my last post, my sisters had returned/were planning to return home to England at the end of the summer. I knew that the flat would be too big and expensive for me to run alone, and conscious of the fact that I'd be more or less homeless after that, I began to revaluate my decision to continue living in Paris. So, while I didn't make any firm decisions immediately, I began to put out feelers and started applying for jobs in Brussels because I thought I could go over there and specialise in Psychiatric Nursing. In the meantime I stayed at a friend's rent-free for the whole of August with my two sisters (they were at their Italian house for the summer). Then moved into my Italian friend Lulu's place, for two months while our friend/her flatmate was in Mexico, since we had to vacate the other flat at the end of August.

Deciding to explore the study-option, I went to Brussels right at the beginning of September to sign up for the  specialist course. It was then I received a bombshell where I was told that even though I was registered to work as a nurse in Belgium, I could not study there without having my degree recognised as equivalent to a Belgian one! It is just my luck that Belgium is one of five countries that had decided to opt-out of the EU-wide mutual recognition of academic qualifications. Ridiculous as it may seem, I can work as a nurse, dealing with people's lives everyday, but I don't have the right to study in a classroom!

 How I felt...

Source 

I asked how long it would take to get the recognition, and it took another 3weeks for anyone to respond and tell me it would take 4-5months (school holidays excluded!), and 174€ to get that piece of paper. I quickly realised it was a dead-end and gave up on that dream, especially since I knew the course I wanted to do would be starting in October. I told myself that Paris would be my home for another couple of months at least, and I decided to re-start the process of house-hunting.

Now it is a well-known fact that flat-hunting in Paris can be hellish! This is because there is a huge shortage of accommodation within the city itself. Then there's the fact that French law tends to favour the tenant who is practically impossible to evict once they're in. So to protect themselves, landlords are often very slective and will ask for "dossiers" from prospective tenants with detailed personal and financial information including everything from your marital status to your blood-group (just kidding with that last one, although it wouldn't surprise me to hear they ask for it too O_O). They will also often want to see that you earn at least 3times the rent or at least that you have a guarantor who does. As a nurse and public servant, my salary was clearly never going to meet the requirement for many of the flats I wanted.

I initially tried to look for more affordable housing, but was having no luck, due mostly to the fact that I only started looking at the beginning of October as I was on holiday and travelling the whole of September. I then became so desperate that I considered living in the "banlieue" (outskirts of Paris), but soon gave up on that idea because I realised I'd be lonely and isolated since I work mostly nights and no longer have either my sisters or T around me. As a last resort, I called my hospital's social worker for help, maybe with allocating me one of the temporary rooms/studio flats available, but there again, French bureaucracy struck! She told me the flat was reserved ONLY for new recruits from the regions outside Ile de France (the region where Paris is located). In spite of the fact that 7rooms were available, that I told her I was a foreigner who would soon be on the streets, and that I only needed temporary accommodation, she remained adamant that I could not be allocated a room.

Current location and future neighbourhood!

Source 

At this point, I decided to give up and "do the prodigal son". I realised that I'd always be welcome at my parents house and to be honest, nursing jobs are a dime a dozen, so I knew I'd soon sort myself out. However, there's a final twist to the story. A few days after that, I got a phone call for a job in children's psychiatry! I love pedopsychiatry, but there are hardly ever any positions that open up because the teams are often keep the same in order to provide stability for the children. As it is, this is only a one year maternity replacement contract, but I'm glad all the same because it gives me very valuable experience and I once again have some sort of plan for the next year. So we're back to the original plan.... I am off to BRUSSELS in 7days!!!! Isn't it funny how life works? T leaves, and I arrive just after. Oh well, my only consolation is that at least Brussels-Vienna is not any further than Paris-Vienna.

September So Far...

• I have birthday presents still coming in three full weeks after the event. A special 30th birthday necklace is being made for me by my ex-colleagues, and I recently received a few other things...

 

 Churidar all the way from Chennai

(via Stockholm!)

 

Alabaster box and necklace from Volterra

(Tuscany)

• I have been trying to improve my Italian, but to be honest, haven't really been practising my speaking skills with Lulu (my housemate). I however have been working hard on my listening and reading. Learning my fourth language in my third language is certainly, for want of a better word..."interesting."

Thank God for French libraries!

• Yesterday I had a small surprise dinner party thrown for me by friends who were either busy or away over the summer. Felt like such an idiot when they dimmed the lights and brought in an ice-cream "cake" with a candle and the number 30 on it. I actually looked round to find out whose birthday it was, only to realise it was all for me. I was so touched!

 Yet another birthday dinner :)

Eight Months Later

It’s been almost nine months since my last post, and to be honest I thought about abandoning the blog, but the combination of Timi leaving a comment, and it being the auspicious occasion of my 30^th...well here I am again.

So what have I been up to since November 2013? Well in no particular order,

• I chopped off all my hair, going from mid-back (stretched) to close-cropped.
• I changed jobs. Twice. Once, because I got fed of commuting for over two hours each day, and the second time because I just couldn’t deal with the horrible atmosphere at the first job where I lasted only 3months.
• I made lots of progress with my Italian. I go to the cinema/watch TV/listen to radio and can largely understand what is being said. I’ve also read my first two books entirely in Italian and have another two waiting to be read (one an early present, from Lulu my dear Italian friend).
• I went to Brussels, and back to Bruges, with a friend in May. Then about 2weeks ago, went to Belgium for a staycation with the boyfriend, fitting in one day at the zoo (first time at a European zoo!) and one at the beach.
• The boyfriend, who’s actually neither Kenyan nor called Hussien, ;) moved to Belgium last December for about 8months, which meant A LOT of travelling. Luckily my current job is flexible enough that I was basically able to live/shuffle between the two countries. Now he’s moving again, to Austria, which sadly means more "long-distancing," but more positively also means we can discover at least some of the eight bordering countries. 
• I signed up for Instagram, in anticipation of all the travelling and new experiences I see in my future :)
• My sisters decided to leave Paris this summer. The younger one is done with her gap year and will be leaving in 10days to take up her place at uni, while the older one, fed up of the city after about 5years has decided she wants to go home after her masters in September. I’ve decided I don’t want to be left behind, so I too am planning a move to Brussels for work and possibly further studies. Obviously lots of life changes and upheavals going on at the moment, especially since I have to look for a new job/flat/community etcetera. Luckily Belgian nurses’ registration is a relatively simple, if protracted process... Anyway this means that only 4years after graduating from uni, I am now a quadrilingual/tri-nationally registered (British-French-Belgian) nurse!
• And well I turned 30 today. Happy birthday me ;)

Paris Snowed Under!

It snowed heavily last week, and I as usual, was quick to step outside for some "artsy" pictures with my trusty phone camera. I particularly love how the light changes when it snows, with the skies becoming stormy and slightly foreboding. It gives the city an eerie feeling, and automatically makes all my pictures look black and white or vintage. Anyway, here are a few of my favourite ones... 

Pictures were all taken late morning/early afternoon, with my HTC radar.

Ma Vie Amoureuse a Paris 3

December was a bit bizarre for me, relationship-wise. I had just met someone I really liked, yet I hadn't officially ended things with Fred, and two other "past people" suddenly decided to contact me!

Antoine asked if we could hang out. I agreed to see him because to be honest, I like him as a friend, I was curious about why he was suddenly eager to see me, and he was paying for lunch at a very good sushi place. I obviously couldn't decline the invitation; everyone knows Japanese food is my Waterloo! Anyway, we hung out for a few hours, laughed, had fun etc., but I spent the whole time thinking about someone else. Towards the end of the afternoon he asked me out a couple of times, and spent the weekend texting drunk messages... It was really weird that he (now that I no longer liked him!) tried hard to get us to start seeing each other again, but for me spending the afternoon together was very helpful.  I realised I was completely over him, and that was such a relief.

Ben suddenly emailed from the US updating me about his life and his difficulty in finding a job at home. He then informed me that he might be moving back to Europe. I'm not sure what I was supposed to do with that piece of information, but it was nice to know how he's doing. However, but I'm not sure how or even if to reply...

With Fred I kind of felt the relationship was over, since we hadn't seen each other since early November and were barely staying in touch. Yet, I'm a very tidy person, and as long as we hadn't officially broken up, in my head we were still together. I wasn't really bothered about the weirdness of the situation though, until I met H who I really liked and wanted to be with. Anyway, I sent Fred an email (we weren't going to see each other until the new year!) explaining my side of things, and after a few exchanges with him trying to convince me to at least stay friends, the relationship was officially over. I felt really bad about how this ended, to be honest, but I guess it was doomed from the start...

Anyway, that brings us to Hussein :)

One Friday in the last weekend of November, while helping out at my new church with the Christmas baking, I met three nice guys. I immediately decided that two of them could become good friends, but sort of ignored the third one because I thought he was with one of the girls there. Anyway because I wanted to hang out with J, one of the two guys, I invited myself along to a football match evening which happened to include H. (Un)fortunately the Internet TV channel was a bit rubbish, and we had to entertain ourselves by chatting...that my friends is when I noticed him properly! Cute but a little reserved, I thought, so after some Facebook investigation to determine his "status," ;) I asked him out on a date. Little did I realise how easy it would be to fall under the spell of the wonderful Hussein...

H who is 28 (same age as me!) and Christian; who is tall, dark and very handsome; who has the most beautiful heart-melting dimpled smile. H who allowed me to drag him to the museum for the exhibition on Nigerian/the old Benin Kingdom arts, who listened patiently and asked intelligent questions as I showed off my knowledge about Nigeria. H who teases me because I've started speaking bad French, using slangs and gestures which are very French; who once helped me go to sleep by making up and telling me a beautiful image-rich story; who often texts me using the Yoruba and pidgin English phrases he learns by bugging his friends. H who might be first guy with whom I fall in love...

I have promised to keep him off my blog for the most part, but as I think he'll be around for a while, I have decided to officially christen him on here...just in case I ever need to mention him. So anyway, he will hereafter be known as Hussein my favourite Kenyan, alias HFK :)

New Year's Eve/Le Réveillon

My sister left for England a few days ago, leaving me home alone. Since I knew I'd be working early on new year's, I'd originally planned to dine solo and then go to bed. However, I ended up spending time virtually with Hussein (my favourite Kenyan!), and it was fun to welcome in the year twice. I may live in Paris, but I'm British and for me the year doesn't begin until the BBC has broadcast shots of Big Ben striking midnight! As usual, having my trusty camera phone to hand, I decided to  record everything for posterity's sake ;)

Ma sœur est partie en Angleterre il y a quelques jours, me laissant seule à la maison. Comme je savais que j'allais travailler tôt le jour de l'an, j'ai prévu de dîner en solo, puis de me coucher. Mais au lieu de ça, j'ai pu passer du temps en ligne avec Hussein (mon Kényan  préféré!), et c'était bien amusant de fêter le nouvel an à deux reprises. Même si j'habite à Paris, je suis anglaise et pour moi l'année ne commence pas jusqu'à ce que la BBC a diffusé les images de Big Ben sonne minuit! Comme d'habitude, ayant mon téléphone, mon fidèle compagnon à la main, j'ai décidé de toute enregistrer pour la postérité ;)

Champagne in freezer = Disaster!

Champagne au congélateur, quel désastre!

Dressed to kill... :)

Habillé sur mon trente-et-un... :)

Candle, lit...

Bougie, allumée...

Frozen Yule Log with Berries

Bûche Glacée avec des Fruits Rouges

Garlic Snails. Yum!

Escargots à l'Ail. Miam!

Dinner is served!

Le dîner est servi :)

E Ku Odun Tuntun, Bonne Année, Felice Anno Nuovo

Noël/Xmas 2012

This year my sister and I spent Christmas in Paris because of her job. It was a bit sad, but we tried to make our flat as festive as possible (my sister eventually agreed to get a tree!), invited one good friend and ate till bursting point. Best of all, my presents are waiting for me under the real Christmas tree at my parents' in England :)

Cette année, ma sœur et moi, on a passé Noël à Paris à cause de son travail. C'était un peu triste, mais on a essayé de rendre notre appart le plus festif que possible (finalement, elle a accepté qu'on puisse avoir un sapin), on a invité une très bonne amie et mangé jusqu'à se faire exploser. Le meilleur de tous, c'est que mes cadeaux sont en attente pour moi sous le vrai sapin de Noël chez mes parents en Angleterre :)

Bûche de Noël, 30€. Cette ville est fou chere!

30€ yule log. Phone to emphasise size, Paris is bloody expensive!

Notre petit sapin, tellement mignon

Our cute mini christmas tree

Repas de Noël, a l'anglaise

Christmas dinner, British-style

Stupeur post-prandiale

Postprandial haze

Et pour finir, le cliche obligatoire de fin de soirée

The requisite end-of-the-night photo

Testimony Time :)

Praiseeeeee the Lord! Hallelujah! Praise, praise, praiseeeeee the Lord! Hallelujah!

(Sings) Come and see, come and see oh, come and see. Come and see what the Lord has done, come and see....

My brothers and sisters, I have come to tell of the miracle God has done in my life.

You see, when I moved to this country in 2011, I was young and very foolish. Being an ajebutter British girl, I assumed that most countries were as advanced and as efficient as my beloved old blighty, but I was soon to learn the error of my ways. As soon as I arrived, I found myself a job and applied for my social security number, something that is so important here in France, that it is issued a "carte VITALE."

Immediately, I encountered great difficulties. You see I had taken advantage of the very liberal British name change laws, and made the terrible mistake of changing my last name by deed poll. Ordinarily administration in France is hellish; with many of the civil servants being incompetent or just callous, but where there is even the slightest complication, the person is "foutu" as we say. Basically my case was hopeless! They kept asking me for strange documents that either didn't exist in England or weren't required according to their own rules. I in turn, got quite adept at writing begging letters and resending my dossier over and over again.
.
Example of some the absurdities I encountered. I was asked to send my "livret de famille," a document we don't have or use in the UK. When I told them that, I was advised to get my embassy to confirm my identity. Of course the guys at the embassy said that was mission impossible, and wished me great luck in dealing with the French. Another time, they asked for my last three payslips which I sent, except they were so slow in processing stuff, that each time they got round to my dossier, so much time had passed that I needed to resend them my latest payslip. They returned the whole dossier each time and asked me to add the required pieces and re-post. So bloody time-consuming and expensive! The whole process was infernal, and I actually started wondering why I left my beloved England. 

In September, I decided to write the things I would like to achieve on a little post-it which I stuck on my wall. One of the things was getting my number by September 2013...that's how hopeless the situation looked. I even stopped praying about it, because it started to feel like God was omnipotent except when it came to French administration. Kai, those people almost made me lose my faith and blaspheme! Anyway, about two weeks ago, my sister noticed my little post-it note and cracked up in laughter. She asked me why I was stressing myself by hoping for something that would probably never happen, and she advised me to just relax and hope I would get it at some point before I die. Apparently, at her law firm, there's a British lawyer who is married to a French woman and has been living in the country for more than ten years. He is still waiting, and has resorted to fighting for his number through legal channels! An American friend told me she's been waiting for three years! I realised my sister was right and I should just give up. But, the discussion reminded me that I hadn't heard anything from them in almost six weeks, so I called the next day asking if they needed any more documents. My brethren, imagine my amazement when the man told me I had been issued a NUMBER!!! I started dancing on the spot and almost started speaking in tongues sef. Apparently, God is more powerful than the "fonctionnaires" and even the French administrative system itself. I rang everyone I knew and posted the news on facebook. Brethren, my faith in God was revived, there is nothing that is impossible for our God! Once again, praise, praise, praiseeeeeeeeeeeeeee the Lord! Hallelujah! 

Postscript: When I called, I was told I'd get a letter proving that I had the right to social security, within eight days (getting the carte vitale itself is a whole 'nother story. I've been warned it can take up to two years!). I reminded the guy that I had moved houses in July and had sent them the contract for my new address, but I took it in my stride when he said he didn't have that information.  I wasn't even stressed...just jejely gave him the address again. I waited for eight days, and was starting to get anxious, when I got a text from someone at my OLD flat telling me I had a letter from social security. Gallic shrug, "on peut pas toute avoir."

P.P.S. One day I will tell the of equally traumatic process of registering as a nurse!

J'ai Mon Numéro Secu!

After 400 days (1 year and 1 month after I started the process!), I've finally succeeded in getting myself registered with the French social security system. In eight days, I should have my social security number and state-sponsored health insurance cover. If you have any experience with French administration, you would understand why and how I was so happy to hear today that I'd been allocated a number! 

Après 400 jours, soit un an et un mois, j'ai enfin réussi mon inscription à la sécurité sociale française. D'ici huit jours, j'aurai mon numéro de sécurité sociale et une assurance maladie. Si vous connaissez l'administration française, vous comprendriez pourquoi je suis aussi contente. C'était incroyable de recevoir ces nouvelles ce matin! 

Ma Vie Amoureuse a Paris 2

There is no English word to describe exactly what I mean, so I have had to use the French phrase...anyway, since July/August, I've have quite a few "aventures amoureuses". Here are the stories in order of which they happened.

Bastien, French, 23, banker guy and friend of work colleagues...

We met at a birthday party. He had been to school and was best friends with one of the girls. This should have been a warning sign for me, but we live and learn. Anyway, before anything could happen between us, he had to travel for work to Japan, so in the mean while, we "talked" by email via Facebook  To my horror, I discovered that he had been telling his friend every little detail about our chats. She in turn told the other girls in her group of friends and they began to tease me and talk about it ALL the time at work, even texting me at home to ask constantly how things were  going. As someone who is extremely private, this soon became intolerable and I quickly put an end to the "liaison." It was a very short-lived affair...

Ben, Jewish-American, 25, PhD student on a see-where-my-family-came-from trip around Europe...

When I first met him, I had felt zero attraction. He was super blond, with the bluest eyes and not very tall...in other words, not at all my type. The thing is I have never fallen in love, but I've always imagined that being as opened-minded as possible, is the surest route to finding the right person. Anyway, I decided to give B a chance because he was persistent and deaf (I'm an equal opportunities kind of girl ;) ). He told me that he had a job offer with an Engineering firm in the UK after his PhD (scheduled to finish before the end of the year), and he was planning to move to Europe, so this was also kind of a reconnaissance trip. Things went well in the beginning, but as I got to know him better, I started to regret having given him the chance. He embodied every negative stereotype about Americans! He was loud, believed America was the perfect country and everywhere else was uncivilised, farted/belched in public, and was generally as uncouth and disagreeable as possible. It became obvious to me that it was going nowhere, so I put an end to it pretty sharpish. The only thing I gained from this relationship was the discovery that I am fine with having a "disabled" partner, something which would become important later on.

Antoine, French, 23, Masters student and intern at Ad agency. 

I met him at my birthday party in August, while I was still going out with Ben. He was a friend of my sister's work colleague, and he had been invited even though I knew neither him nor his friend. I didn't really notice him to be honest, but my little sister (who was spending the summer with us) later told me he had spent the night staring at me. Anyway, he left the party early and took my number under the pretext of contacting me if he found a nice club... Both my sisters and brother hated Ben, and they kind of opened my eyes to the fact that A might like me. Long story short, we went out a few times in the beginning and he was very sweet. However, I had also met F at around the same time, and he was much more attentive than A who would take days to respond to texts and never had time to hang out. He seemed to spend his time apologising, for not responding, for cancelling dates, for not having time. In the end, I asked him point blank what he wanted, and that's when he said he was being flaky because he was confused. He liked me, was attracted to me, blah blah blah etc., but wasn't sure if he was over his ex or wanted to start a new relationship. Besides, he was worried about starting something and then having to leave Paris (which he hates!) after his internship. I tried to reason with him, but realised that I didn't want to be in another ambiguous relationship, so we agreed to end things. Since then we've tried to keep up the friendship, and gone out once, but I think he is still confused. I stopped texting/emailing, because as I said he is absolutely rubbish at replying and it bugs me. Sometimes he writes, just out of the blue, in ways that make me wonder about us and what's going on in his head. To be honest, I'm not sure either of us got closure from this "relationship,"  and although I still wonder about what could have been, I've definitely moved on.

Somewhere between these guys, I also had "encounters" with many others including Matthew (English), Guy (Congolese), Francisco (Portuguese), Pierre, Pierre and Sebastien (all three French). Most were just casual dates, and I was fine with not taking things further. However, with Francisco who had to go back to Switzerland (got an internship, as an economist at the ECB) and three of the guys who were older than me, I was a bit.... sadly, even though I tried really hard, things just didn't work out. I guess the older guys felt slightly paedophilic around me :(

Anyway, this brings us to Frédéric. 

French, 22, Masters student and intern. Current boyfriend :)

So when I first met F, he was super attentive, romantic etc. I liked all these things, but wasn't very attracted to him. However, I decided to give him a chance because he was very persistent. We have been together more or less since September, after a while I started to like him but there were initially a few bumps in the road. 

First, I found out that he had lied about his age, he told me he was 23, when in fact he was 22. When I confronted him about it, he said it was because he really liked me but was worried I wouldn't want to go out with someone so young. I thought it was kind of sweet, but was rather annoyed by the fact that we started the relationship based on a lie (my sister thinks it's not that bad!). I then found out that he had been in a very bad accident when he was 20, which had almost killed him, and which had left him with multiple disabilities...cognitive, speech, mobility. They are not obvious when you first meet him, but have a big impact on his life, for example he needs to spend lots of time with various therapists. As someone with a type A personality,  he also has a crazy schedule which would be hard enough for any "abled" person to manage, school work, internship, sports etc. When you add the time spent on therapies, it becomes almost impossible to find time for anything else. Right at the beginning of the relationship, the age and time issues made me quite reticent  but I thought that if we really wanted to be together we could work things out. So to test his seriousness, I sent him a message asking if he wanted to continue the relationship or wanted instead to be just friends. He replied yes, and cited the issues which were already on my mind. For me, this was a sign that he wasn't serious, so I decided to just cut off all contact. A week later, he contacted me, apologised and we decided to give things another chance.  We've been together ever since, and I'm learning to get over my upset at the way things happened initially...I think I like him, but my feelings fluctuate. I also haven't really seen him in about 3weeks, and I neither miss him nor care. At the moment I'm taking each day as it comes, hoping I'll eventually go back to feeling secure in the relationship, but I can kind of see the end in sight, so I'm keeping my options open. After-all who knows what the future holds :) 

Post-script

I have decided that my very young face is not at all an asset. I only ever seem to attract really young guys, which I wouldn't mind in itself, except for the fact that maturity comes with age...SIGH!

Ma Vie Amoureuse a Paris

I've decided to write this post in English because it's likely to be quite long :)

When I initially moved here, I was so preoccupied with acquiring the language, starting work as a nurse etc., that I didn't have the time or energy  to date. Besides, it's pretty difficult to meet people when all you do is go to French classes, babysit and teach children. I met one or two guys during that time, from my French school (had a girlfriend, so no!) and one really lovely guy from church, to whom I just wasn't attracted...October-December was pretty dry in that sense. 

Anyway in January, I met the guy that would really "basculer ma vie" as we say in French. J was on the same programme as me, teaching at a university where we had two-week contracts for intensive English classes. Right from the beginning, he seemed really curious about me, asking lots of questions and trying to show how much he knew about Nigeria and Africa in general. Now, I'm a VERY proud Nigerian, and he is a typical European (half French, half Scottish grew up in England), so I was pretty impressed by his knowledge. He told me about how his brother had been born in South Africa, how his parents were really into African music, how he spent two years in Tanzania, and would love to go back there to work after his Masters (his reason for being in Paris). We talked about the unfair privilege sometimes accorded to white people in African societies, as well as the good, bad and ugly about Nigeria. I usually am quite circumspect about these issues, because I know many people are already quite prejudiced against my lovely country, but I felt completely at ease with him...It really was like talking to another Nigerian. We talked about Fela, P-squared, D'Banj and Nollywood all of which he loved with a passion. He took me to see exhibitions about Nigeria (not easy to find in a Francophone country), and showed me an uber-cool "world music" bar where they sometimes played old King Sonny Ade songs! We loved similar books, music (he often sent me clips), wandering around Paris and going to cool places ("weird" contemporary art galleries, clubs, antiques markets etc). Gradually, I fell in love with the idea of being with him, he seemed so...perfect. 

Right at the beginning of the relationship, I kind of told him I was just looking for a friend because I wanted to stay in Paris and he was obviously just passing through. He was also much younger than me at 23, I was 27... A few weeks later though, I asked him out and he told me he had just started going out with a girl from his university. I was so sad! Not because I loved him, but because I loved the idea of finally finding someone who seemed to totally understand my culture, my origins, and the unique result of being raised as a child of two cultures. As an aside, I have never dated a Nigerian (not for want of trying!), and it sometimes bugs me to know that I might end up with someone to whom I would constantly have to explain aspects of my culture. 

Anyway, even after his admission, nothing changed.  I became confused after a while because he never spoke about his girlfriend and we still spent entire days together, even though all the hand-holding etc. had stopped. Eventually, I asked him about A and he told me she was doing an internship in the Philippines (him, biologist, her archaeologist). I decided to be extremely careful around him after that, because I could see things becoming complicated really easily. Around his birthday in May, he asked for a Nigerian meal as a present and I promised to make him pepper soup, fried rice and dodo, clearly proof that he was getting under my skin....I had never cooked for a guy before that. After I got back from the US, we spent another whole day together just talking and wandering round Paris, and then he invited me to a "party" with his uni mates which I was a bit weird about, having decided to stop hanging out with his friends when I found out he was seeing A. I agreed to go though, because it was his birthday. That my friends, is when things started to go awry. 

First he sent me a message that afternoon telling me that A had met and was seeing someone else in the Philippines, but ended the text by telling me not to read anything into it! Then he spent the evening texting repeatedly, asking if I was coming to the party...In the light of the new information and behaviour, I decided to go with my sister, using her kind of as a cloak of protection. In the end, she left early because she couldn't stand the hippyness of his friends and because she said she could see he really wanted to be alone with me. Throughout the night he became more and more tactile even though I kept refusing his advances (we hadn't talked and I wanted to avoid any misunderstanding). Next day was the promised meal, and I brought up the text and his behaviour the night before, which he blamed on his drinking and the fact that he really liked me and found me attractive. However, he then said he was planning to try to work things out with A. In retrospect, I should have ended the friendship there and then, because as my sister said, his disrespect towards me meant that he was a bad friend and would obviously not do better as a boyfriend. I didn't listen to her though, so we kept hanging out and things  gradually deteriorated. We started arguing over emails, texts etc., even after he'd left for a four month internship in England, the arguments continued. 

Around July, I went to see my cousin and honorary big brother in Rome, and he advised me to just live my life and cut off all contact with J. I listened to advice this time, and within a few days was able to realise that even though we had loads of fun together, he would have made a crappy boyfriend. Plus I didn't love him (just the idea), and my sister hated him because she though he was ugly and not up to my usual standards :)

My "history" with J happened over the course of 6 months...until June/July. By then, I was on my way to becoming truly integrated into French society and was beginning to meet more guys. Part 2 coming soon....

So What Have I Been Up To?

Just before my last desertion, I blogged about taking my French language exams and finally starting work as a nurse.

Well that's exactly what happened. I took the TCF (test de connaissance du français) with lots of fear and trembling  because I was sure that I would fail as a result of my laziness and general attitude of skiving off classes. Luckily  all those hours of watching shitty French TV and reading every material I could get my hands on, helped. I passed the exams, getting a C1 (B2 is the required level) and managing to save myself a fairly expensive 230€ resit! After a lot of hassle,  I was able to register myself as a nurse...French administrative (in)efficiency is a subject for another post. 

Anyway, to celebrate  I pierced my nose and took a well-deserved holiday, managing to fit in a very tiring but incredibly fun 2 week road trip around dixieland (southern USA). 

On returning home (feels strange to call Paris that!) I started looking for jobs and after a few false starts found something at a psychiatric hospital in what was surely the hardest three months of my life. I was working in an environment where I had no experience, with protocols/equipment/medicines which were often very different from what I had used in England, and in a totally new language. Trying to communicate in French, in medical French, with psychiatric patients who used lots of slang and were often delirious was DIFFICULT! Luckily I survived the contract, and I  was able to discover a previously unknown aspect of nursing which I love. I work in a new hospital now, in acute psychiatry (even more "difficult") and I am thriving. 

In the middle of all this, we managed to find a flat and moved from one of 11m² (11!) to a much larger, prettier 54m². We each have our own rooms and my sister can now shut her door when she gets tired of me running around naked. Best thing about the flat though,  is the living room with a canapé-lit, which allows us to have people over. The stream hasn't really stopped since we moved in, in August! Although we love having people, I'm hoping things will slow down soon, because we're tired and I need to hibernate for the winter.

So anyway, at the moment I'm loving my job; although looking for something much closer to home, I've started learning Italian, and I'm back to singing in a choir (we're doing Dvorak's Stabat Mater).

In other news, I have been dating A LOT! Not sure why, but I seem to be very popular here in Paris, although that hasn't equalled finding "the one" or one of "the ones." I'll probably do a post on the craziness that has been my experience of dating in Paris...

Allora, baci e buona giornata a tutti!

La Ville Lumière 2

Le Moulin Rouge. Dix minutes de chez moi à pied!

La fameuse pyramide du Louvre

Paris plage 2012, sur le quai de la Seine

Les cadenas d'amour, pont de l'Archevêché

Iya Traore, le footballeur de Sacre Coeur. Très doué ce mec!

La Basilique du Sacre Coeur

Fatiguée après une journée de tours!

La Ville Lumière 1

Au bord de la seine, Champs de Mars. Lieux sympas pour des pique-nique 

A l'ombre de la tour Eiffel

Coucher du soleil, vu de ma fenêtre

Le Rickshaw, un nouveau moyen de faire la touriste

Center George Pompidou, boutique Amorino, Châtelet...bref, les temps perdus