Friday 26 June 2015

Clara's Travel Tales: The London Edition (Part 2)

The Euroshuttle, a "train" for vehicles. It carries cars/buses/motorcycles 
the same way normal trains carry people!

After a great weekend with my friends, I was dreading the long journey back to Brussels, but was as usual kind of looking forward to being either on the ferry or going through the Eurotunnel. I actually prefer the ferry as it means you get to stretch your legs and enjoy a "boat" ride, but I also don't mind the shuttle because I'm always amazed at how such a structure/engineering feat came to be. Anyway I was happy to be going back home and was looking forward to a long but uneventful journey. Alas this was not to be so.

First of all, my ticket told me that my journey was supposed to start at 8.30, so imagine my surprise when I arrived (thankfully) 35minutes early and was told I had just a few minutes to spare before my bus left! Apparently they'd made a mistake and the bus was actually scheduled to leave at 8, so I had to hurry up and get registered/passport-checked, thanks to the UK not being a Schengen country. I made it by the skin of my teeth, and got on the bus, only for the driver to tell me off for being a latecomer. I was so pissed, I tell you! By this time, all the "good" seats had of course been taken, and I had to sit next to a girl in full Burka. Naturally, I had nothing against her, but I really didn't want to sit next to her because I knew I'd have to eat later, and it being Ramadan, I wanted to avoid being evil by eating next to a fasting person. In the end though I had no choice, and it was fine because she turned out to be lovely. 
Anyway almost as soon as we boarded the bus, we realised that we had a CRAZY co-passenger! As in the guy was completely LOCO. He started by singing loudly, and when one unfortunate girl decided to ask him to please keep it down, he went on a rant about being a British citizen and having as many rights as the next person. He said he'd been born in England, and that therefore no one could shut him up, in spite of his being black. He then claimed he had 1kg of cocaine, heroine and other raw materials for making new substances on him. From there, he moved on to talking about how everyone was against him just because he's a black guy who is expected to use/sell drugs and rape women. T happened to call me during one of his rants and heard some stuff, as well as the other passengers laughing nervously and I think he was a bit worried, the poor thing. 

We were N, originally scheduled to leave at 11.20 :(

Well after 2 hours on the road, we arrived at the boarding point for the shuttle only to be told that they were serious delays, and that no one had any idea when normal service would resume! In the meantime, we went through passport control, and of course our crazy friend continued his tirade the whole time. At one point, they called the police who spoke to him but sadly let him loose. We then waited for 2 another hours, during which we were thankfully free to wander round the small shopping centre and weren't stuck on the bus with the crazy guy, and during which I made friends, and ended up chatting with a lovely old lady and her husband who are horse-breeders. Sha, after all that time, they managed to sort out the problem and we were free to leave. Imagine our disgust when we get back on the bus to find our guy just as obnoxious as ever. He basically took up where he left, but added childish jokes, terrible rap, farting and burping to the mix! He even got to the point of saying he had some Semtex and was planning to blowup England as a revenge against Holland for Nelson Mandela (no, it makes no sense to me either). Anyway he got told off for the umpteenth time by the driver who warned him that he could kick him off the bus. That worked for a while, but he soon went back to his objectionable ways and continued for about 6hours, all the way to Brussels (because of course we ran into huge traffic jams). The whole time, I just kept wishing he'd told the bomb story while the immigration staff we on the bus, but I guess even obnoxious idiots have a sense of self-preservation. 

I was so happy to arrive in Brussels, but felt really sorry the the other passengers who were stuck with him for another couple of hours all the way to Amsterdam!


  1. "I'm always amazed at how such a structure/ENGINEERING feat came to be"

    **Pops Collar and bounces with a spring in step.. **In My Village Peoples Igbo Accent.. Nwanne.. If ya not an Engineer.. ForgeRRit.. heheheh.. iKid... meehennn its Hypes like teh above that makes one appreciate studying all those hard hard crazy annoyingLY difficult but totally worth it Engineering courses for 5 bladdy years.. **In Beyonce's voice... Who Run the world?! us! us! heheheheh.. Wait oh.. be there doing Shakara with ya UK Passport.. If them shenGen someboRRies catch you ehn.. **In the words of Rita Dominic in Nollywood movie The Meeeting...OYA is ya case oh!.. Okay the thing is ehhnnn.. Me i love to travel.. But i hate the conveying process aswear.. I mean being on those long coaches or shuttles for long a$$ Hours just used to pinCh me in my boRRy one kain one kain.. But oh well. as we neFer get private jet ni.. Whats is a brother to do nah?! The lllaawddd is my muscle till then #PURSEsuitofHappYness..

    Egbon.. Sheybe you see the sad issue with our race... many of us (me inclusive) have generated that mediocre mentality as was clearly depicted in some tiny way by our chairman on the bus.. I would say that its cause this one was but I see a lot of it here too and i often times just shock like Nepa wire, or Cringe at such down playing of oneself... Oh well.. I am Glad that you got home safely.. **Light Bulb... then **Wears Evil Grin.. Wait for iitttt.... "Though it would have been fun to read that you entered Plane going to India instead of Brussels.." #AlaKobamodeActivated hehehe (that would be a hilarious read) but this is acceptable for now.. **clears Throat.. Till the India saga happens though.. hehehehe **Runs away.. and the crowd goes OOooosshheeey Turn uP! How are you Egbon?!

  2. That qualifies officially as th bus ride from hell. Note to self: do not ride the bus in Europe. Lol jk


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