I wrote
this about 6weeks ago, while I was gallivanting around Eastern
Europe, so the political landscape might have changed since then... I
spent about 10days in Serbia and Hungary, and as usual had some
pretty weird things happen to me. I thought it'd make more sense to
make it into a 3-part account, so anyway here's the second one.
Enjoy.
***
I wanted to
go somewhere cool to celebrate writing my German exams, so I decided,
having exchanged a few emails with one of my oldest friends from
Paris who had returned to her home country of Serbia, to visit
Belgrade. I really wanted to see her again as we'd been quite close
in Paris, and it is easier for me to go than it is for her to come to
me (I don't need a visa/other financial considerations etc.), we
decided that I'd do the travelling.
.
A few days
before my trip, I heard about the main train station in Budapest
closing (yes the very same one from which I was supposed to travel to
Belgrade) because of the refugee crisis, and with every new report I
saw, things seemed to be deteriorating rapidly along the
Hungary/Serbia border. I became a bit worried about having to deal
with the situation, and wondered if it would even be possible for me
to travel, but you know I like living on the edge, so I decided to
continue with my plans. I checked in and printed my boarding passes
only to discover that I had spelt my own name wrong while booking!
The ticket cost only 55€, but I found out that it would cost £110
(almost 140€!) to sort out the problem. I was so upset that I
almost cancelled the entire trip, because I felt everything happening
was probably a sign that I should stay home. However, thinking of all
the money I'd already spent made me decide to try one last thing and
look online for how my fellow silly travellers had solved the
problem. Luckily I found a blog where someone advised I contact
Ryanair on twitter, as apparently contacting them on social media
makes them respond faster. Anyway I did that, and it was just as I
was told, with the extra benefit of them resolving the problem for
free. Happy at this wonderful turn of events, I decided I was going
to have a lovely time with my friend and enjoy my holiday to the
maximum, as I knew I probably wouldn't be visiting any more "exotic"
locations this year. Little did I know what was to come...
.
Ok, so let
me start with the good. The weather, amazing! It was almost always
around the 30°C mark and sunny, a real treat and a change from the
Brussels I'd left behind. Other good things include meeting my
Instagram friend and her family, the friendly helpful people and of
course their beautiful
city.
The good; friends, fun and beautiful architecture
The
bad was the constant staring. Although it wasn't hostile at all and
seemed more from curiosity than anything else, it still felt a
bit uncomfortable. Sometimes, one just wants to blend in with the
crowd ya know? Yeah that wasn't too possible in this case. In fact I
stood out like a sore thumb, but my "exoticness" helped me
later on, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much!
Now
to the downright ugly.
.
Right from
the first day, I noticed my friend seemed different. She repeatedly
apologised about how everything was so "third-worldly", talked
about how everyone were peasants and basically slagged off the
country. I found the new M very difficult to handle because she
seemed so hard and judgemental.
Anyway the
problem really started on the second day when I met the friend from
Instagram. M had instructed my friend to bring me back by 7pm, but we
got lost and ended up arriving about 10mins later (actually 7mins, I
checked) and she was so upset! She said lots of horrible things about
my friend and her family, that they were stupid peasants, a family
made of a controlling husband, a depressed mother and a spoilt child.
I was shocked because she'd only met them for 5minutes and I though
her reaction was a bit exaggerated! She later apologised though, and
told me she'd been upset because she thought I'd been kidnapped and
trafficked to Albania and then Italy. I again found this extremely
weird, but also a bit sweet when idiot that I am, I should have seen
the signs.
A little
later on the bus back home, I randomly said something about hoping I
could talk to T before he went to bed, without keeping him up too
late. Imagine my surprise when she went off on me, telling me that
what T and I have is an unhealthy relationship. She said we had a bad
mutual mother-child dependence thing going on, and then basically
talked rubbish about us being together! I found it so strange and
upsetting that I shut up (and down) from the stress of it all. In any
case, I didn't want to bring even more attention to myself on the
bus, because people were already staring at me and that only worsened
when M started shouting at me on the bus.
Later,
still hurt by what I felt was an unjust and uncalled for assault on
me and my relationship, I excused myself politely and told her
I was tired and needed to sleep. Once I got into the room, I called T
because I needed to talk to someone, plus I really needed to calm
down a bit. Anyway just after our conversation she came into the
room, ostensibly to apologise, and asked me what had been said (T had
asked me to ask her if she knew the few Serbian words he knew).
I replied jokingly that he was showing off with the words he'd learnt
from an old friend, however she seized on one of my phrases and said
I was always talking about the same thing, completely bizarre and
untrue because this was the first time anything like this
conversation ever came up!
She
said I was obsessed and that my life was not a life at all, I was
living in a fairytale make-believe world. Then went on to add that I
was judgemental and unfair and wicked. To top it all, she said T was
only a boyfriend temporarily, and that things would soon change! The
cherry on the cake was when she started talked badly about my family;
my mum, my sisters (she was friends with them too!), and even my
lovely MIL, no one was safe from her verbal attack. Again, to say I
was flabbergasted would be understating the point. I had (still don't
understand even after lots of reflection) no clue why she'd be so
vehement and venomous about such a banal comment. It was all so
strange, especially because she kept "advising" me on how
to have a better non-dependant relationship! I tried to tell her in a
diplomatic way that it was none of her business, by repeatedly saying
"that's your opinion, and I understand, but don't necessarily
agree with you". Yes I am British and that how we disagree. In
the end she said she couldn't bear talking to or even looking at me
any more, and went off in a sulk into the other room to sleep.
Confused at the events of the last couple of days, and shocked at the
new M, I was sleepless until the early hours of the morning.
Day 3, I
got up and stayed in the room because I was tired and to be honest
wasn't sure how to deal with this new persona. Imagine my surprise
when she came to me and started apologising! She said she was sorry
for being a Jekyll and Hyde, and said she was stressed because her
life was in flux after all the therapy she'd had in the last 2years.
Said she'd always been too sensitive (she was indeed a lovely
sensitive person when I knew her!) and that she'd now unfortunately
gone too far the other way and needed to find the right balance. She
then thanked me for helping her see how she'd started according to
her, "losing her humanity", and begged me to forgive her.
Finally she told me all the mean things she'd said to me were
actually directed at herself. I still felt very upset, but forgave
her even though I privately thought it was a bit much that she kept
saying she'd never forgive herself.
***This
is getting a bit long so I think I'll break it up into 2parts :)
